On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'

Official sign near door:  Door Alarmed.
Hand printed sign nearby:  Window frightened.

Found in a restaurant in England:
Guys:  No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus
    (translation of the Greek):
'Caution: Road Slippery from Grape juice'

MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...
A billboard seen next to the highway, traveling from
Johannesburg International Airport into town.
An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible
with the roof and all the windows down.
The caption reads:
'Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'

Two signs found on top of one another in a country
kitchen several years ago:
   rest rooms
    <-----
   Please wait for hostess to seat you.

Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at  7:30pm.

Seen in a health food store:
"Shoplifters will be beaten over the head
with an organic carrot "

"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."

I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant:
the sign read:  Women are not served here...
       You have to bring your own.