These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones~~

 On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
  Here lies
  Ezekial Aikle
  Age 102
  The Good
  Die Young.

  In a London, England cemetery:  Ann Mann
  Here lies Ann Mann,
  Who lived an old maid
  But died an old Mann.
  Dec. 8, 1767

  In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:  Anna Wallace
  The children of Israel wanted bread
  And the Lord sent them manna,
  Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
  And the Devil sent him Anna.

  Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
  Here lies
  Johnny Yeast
  Pardon me
  For not rising.

  Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
  Here lies the body
  of Jonathan Blake
  Stepped on the gas
  Instead of the brake.

  In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
  Here lays Butch,
  We planted him raw.
  He was quick on the trigger,
  But slow on the draw.

  A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
  Sacred to the memory of
  my husband John Barnes
  who died January 3, 1803
  His comely young widow, aged 23, has
  many qualifications of a good wife, and
  yearns to be comforted.

  A lawyer's epitaph in England:   Sir John Strange
  Here lies an honest lawyer,
  And that is Strange.

  Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
  I was somebody.
  Who, is no business
  Of yours.

  Lester Moore was a Wells Fargo Co. station agent for
  Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's.  He's buried in the
  Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
  Here lies Lester Moore
  Four slugs from a .44
  No Les No More.

  In a Georgia cemetery:
  "I told you I was sick!"

  John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
  Reader if cash thou art
  In want of any
  Dig 4 feet deep
  And thou wilt find a Penny.

  On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
  She always said her feet were killing her
  but nobody believed her.

  In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
  On the 22nd of June
  * Jonathan Fiddle -
  Went out of tune.

  Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph
  that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
  Here lies the body of our Anna
  Done to death by a banana
  It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
  But the skin of the thing that made her go.

  More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
  Gone away
  Owin' more
  Than he could pay.

  Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
  In Memory of Beza Wood
  Departed this life
  Nov. 2, 1837
  Aged 45 yrs.
  Here lies one Wood
  Enclosed in wood
  One Wood
  Within another.
  The outer wood
  Is very good:
  We cannot praise
  The other.

  On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
  Under the sod and under the trees
  Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
  He is not here, there's only the pod:
  Pease shelled out and went to God.

  The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
  is almost a consumer tip:
  Who was fatally burned
  March 21, 1870
  by the explosion of a lamp
  filled with "R.E. Danforth's
  Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

  Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
  Born 1903--Died 1942
  Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
  the car was on the way down. It was.

  In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
  Here lies an Atheist
  All dressed up
  And no place to go.

  But does he make house calls?
  Dr. Fred Roberts,
  Brookland, Arkansas:
  Office upstairs