1.      You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 	1998.

2.      You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces
        images of Elvis.          

3.      You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.

4.      You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before
        the inevitable explosion occurs.

5.      People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your
        ceiling.

6.      No longer content with merely photocopying your butt, you now
        scan and enhance it with Photoshop.

7.      You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of
        all seven Dwarfs.

8.      The 4th Division of Paper clips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry,
        and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.